Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Oh Russia

Amongst ourselves, we've discussed the fact that everyone who studies Russia is a little bit odd. It's a country and a language that sometimes, you just love to hate.

As explained in one guidebook, "customer service as a concept does not really exist in Russia". No, no it doesn't. There is no customer service. Only a game, called Who Can Be The Biggest A----le?

I met Mandy at the post office so we could pick up some Christmas packages. It was the central post office, where people are unfriendly and I don't have any personal connections. (Personal connections are really how anything actually gets done in Russia.) Usually, I find this helpful. In the smaller post office, I am friends with the parcel lady. She knows me. She smiles and says hello when I see her. On this day, no such luck.

Post Office Drama Queen (with dramatic sighing and rolling of eyes, in Russian): Why are you here so late? I can't believe you came so late! This package has been here for a long time. You are going to have to pay money to get it from me. You shouldn't have been so late.

Me(in Russian): I was on vacation. I was in the Ukraine. I just got your note.(Inner voice: So obviously, I couldn't pick up the package. And, you've probably been closed and home drinking vodka the whole time I was away. You probably didn't even deliver the note saying I had a parcel for pickup until today.)

(( another Post Office Girl enters from state right ))

Post Office Girl: How are you? What's going on in here?

Drama Queen: Oh, these girls are foreigners and they're so stupid. They don't understand about the parcel and why they have to pay money and it's just *so* difficult for me to have to explain it to them, etc.

Mandy(in Russian): I can understand everything you're saying about us.

Drama Queen: [Flashes a fake smile accompanied by nervous laughter. Grudgingly accepts my late fee of 28 rubles and gives me my two parcels. Begins talking to Post Office Girl again about why her life is so difficult and hard...]

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